...has been playing on my computer for close to a week. i've reached minute 48 out of its two and a half hours. i haven't had the patience to watch any film in its entirety for years now. i mean i've been to theaters (not too often, but enough to know that) i can sit through something that i've made a big deal of (going out, getting tickets, making plans), but just to watch a film in the serenity of my own surroundings has become more-less impossible. i cant ditch myself.
so as i sit in the office on a sunny monday morning, waiting for my partner to arrive, i'm anxious to squeeze something else into my life, for example that movie that i liked so much when it started sometimes last week, and i go back and press play. and two minutes later, i'm axious to get back to work, even though its the only thing that lays ahead... at least for the day.
...and then when the day should be done (hours after i started writing this), i am still in in the same position, trying to keep my back straight, eyes high, mind focused and on alert. it's been hours since my partner left, and the movie has progressed 10 minutes... the mind wanders down all three lanes of the highway in my head - work, research, and the movie... but it also keeps hitting the side barriers, trying to jump the curb, gazing at the passing cultures, forests, the water passing below the bridges along the way, but not committing to a particular exit, therefore continueing on... with the steady rhythm of the passing division lines... wooom, wooom, wooom... and night has fallen, headligts are on, but no one going in my direction... just a bright hole in the darkness, and the reflective hint of the direction that the future brings. and the road keeping going on... and i don't known whether it leads back into the wild, nor where that actually is.
No comments:
Post a Comment